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Satanic Rites 2
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Satanic Rites - Issue 2 (1992-08-17)(Destiny).adf
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news
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1990-01-05
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8KB
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147 lines
}0a000
{2{d SATANIC RITES NEWS
{1
{aThe best news from the best news team. Including the latest stories from
the {bQuartz Summer Conference {a'92. Also a selection of LIES so that WE can
monitor other diskmags copying us! I wonder if you can guess what's true and
what isn't?!
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{e{2GPO TROUBLE{1
{a Can all of {cMicrolite's {acontacts please start writing his real name (Stephen
Lumb) on the {eJiffy Bag{a. This is because the {fPost Office {aare going to charge
him {dbusiness rates {awith the high number of parcels.
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{cGOLLUM {awas thrown out of {eDESTINY{a. He Did NOT {cleave {aas some {eLESSER magazines{a
reported. He has asked to join {eDamage UK {aand claims to have had `{foffers{a'
from Dimension X. {fWhat a load of rubbish - everyone hates him{a!
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{cKevin {a({fpart of Silk{a) left {fGollum {abecause of his {dBAD {areputation and is now
working independantly.
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{eDetinator {ajoined {cDamage UK {aas a new musician. {eAndy cool {aand {eSkart {ahave been
thrown out of the same {fgroup {afor {einactivity.
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{ePissed Artist {aof {cDestiny {achanged his name to `{fThe Hampster{a'. He must have
been totally {chamstered {ato think of a name like that!
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{dSanity Germany {awill be inactive for some months whilst working on some new
productions. {eChaos {apromises a megademo for a {eChristmas {aparty in {eGermany{a
that will have {cNO {avectors but promises to be really good (stretches and
zooms). He told a member of the Satanic Rites staffing `I can't seem to do
anything nowadays without a zoom effect'. `Jesterday was full of them, this was
because I wanted to code a demo and we had enough music for a musicdisk. Then
Cougar drew the picture of the dog and I thought how nice it would be to zoom
down it's throat, and it all came together!'
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{eDelicious Designs {ais a new group started by {eUSM{a. It currently consists of
five members, {eGroo {aand {eRufferto {afrom {eDigital Germany {ahave joined, along
with {eElwood {afrom {cDigital UK{a, and Dexter.
{eDelicious Design {awant more members, if you're `{fqualified{a' write to the
management enclosing example work. The address is:
{c Delicious Mailbox,
{f PO BOX 181,
Chesterfield,
Derbyshire.
S40 2SY
England.
please enclose a box of jaffa cakes labeled
`indirect Destiny taxation'.
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{2{eRAT/AGILE IN CUSTODY
{1Rat/Agile is in {dPolice custody {afor taking an axe to his wife and kids. He
was chucked off {eOASIS BBs{a, and then `{elost it{a'. That's all we know, more
next time. {c(By the way, in case you thought that one was a lie, you're sadly
mistaken. This story is 100% true and we will have more details next month)
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{2{eQUARTZ SUMMER CONFERENCE{1
{eGraphics Competition:
{c1> Elwood/Digital
{c2> Fish/LSD
{c3> Scorch
{a(Destiny mega-artist Narc, came 8th, 51 entries in total)
{eMusic Competition:
{c1> Snare/Quartz
{c2> Bernard Sumner/LSD
{c3> Civilised/Phobia/TSL
{eDemo competition:
{c1> {aDeja Vu/Anarchy (coded by Paradroid)
{c2> {aDynamic Illusions/RANX/Quartz (by Ranx??)
{c3> {aDivine Madness/Quartz (coded by Magic Mushroom)
{eBest release:
{c1> {aNot announced, but will be SR#2, if they've got any sense....
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{cLSD {released issue 11 of {eGrapevine {amagazine. It has been {fslightly {arecoded
and a number of {enew bugs {ahave been introduced. These included the
occasional dissappearance of files, {ccorruption appearing {aon the screen and
varying flickering caused by dead sprite {fDMA{a. {eIt will accept disk one at
the `{fInsert disk two prompt{e'. {cIt also sometimes gurus if you press the
mousebuttons, and finally, the music sounds as if {atwo {csamples are corrupt.{a
If you believe this then you'll believe people voted for Anarchy in the
Eurochart. :-)
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{fDestiny {aran a {d24 hour {ainformation line over the {cQuartz {aparty weekend.
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{eDespite {aclaims from {cGroo {aand {cRuferto {aof {eDelicious Designs Germany{a, {fDigital UK{a
{aare putting up a {cunited front {aconsisting of the line `{fthey haven't really left
us-it's all {elies{a'. I was sitting next to these guys at the party, and they
weren't scrawling `{dDTL sucks{a' on the walls for the hell of it. {cDTL{a: {eThey're as
much your members as you're my {cgrandmother{a!
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{aThere are some {eclains {athat {cDigital members {fOTHER {athan those leaving for {fUSM{a's
{cDelicious Designs {ahave left for the new group. As far as we know these rumours
are {efalse{a, and since {fUSM {aeats {cswiss roll {afor {cbreakfast {awe doubt the rumours
stem from {ehim{a. More {clikely {athey come from some {flame conference {ain the {eStates{a...
{aoften frequented by {clamers {awith nothing better to do {e(G*L*U*){a.....
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{aDespite {fTantalus' {anew-found love for {calcoholic beverages{a, he has been
unable to develop as {eprominent {aa beer-belly as {dPARASITE/LSD
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{cTantalus {ahas revealed himself to the {fworld {aas a closet train spotter!
Concealed among his belongings at the {cQuartz Party {awe found several
anoraks, notebooks & worn down pencils.{f What a slapper!
{e------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{eSpud {ahas been eaten! He went up to the bar to buy a packet of peanuts, and
the barlady bit his hands off! As he screamed in {fagony{a, she impaled him
upon a {ewhaling harpoon{a. Luckily, {cSpud {ahas an infinite lives cheat and so
his energy didn't even go down!
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{fAndy's {awell stocked up on {cbooze{a. Easily enough to last most {e'till Christmas{a
- so it will be {eWednesday {abefore he's back down the Off-Licence for a top
up.
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{dSatanic Rites {anews-section has won an {eaward {afor reporting totally
{funtruthful {aevents.... or has it?
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{eAndy says "{fI'm nissed as a pewt!{a" {c(And why NOT? Ed)
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{eGemini {ahas joined {cDimension X {aas a swapper but he's learning to {ccode.
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{eCylon {a(Ex-Ghost) joined {cDimension X{a.
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{cLSD {ado not exist! {eIt's all a myth! {aTracking down one of the contact addresses,
we {fencountered {ano more than a {cpuddle of bestial excrement {aand a postie who
denied ever having heard of Spirit... though not spirits you understand! On a
thorough (but without violence) interogation, Parasite confessed. "{fOK,{a" he
said. "{fIt was all a joke. I just wanted to see if I could get away with it.
The member digipics on {eGrapevine {awere ripped from magazines, and {fMaximan{a
is in fact 20 year-old {cKevin Wheatly{a, male model and fashion expert for Woman!{a"
Hoho! {eYou never had us fooled {aPazza{e!
{e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Send your news and lies to the normal address. Thanks guys.
~iff.church-in-hell